Me Musing . . . the New Year has taken off on 'the fly' . . .

I knew this month would be 'clean-up' before I begin my new year on February 6th; however, I had no idea that it would take off at such a pace! Seems like the days have sped by and with them more uprooting of old patterns and habits (some which we like to think we have already dealt with years ago!!!!).

I had been saving my 'year end ritual' writing to do the first 5 days of February and decided in order to be ready to begin fresh on February 6th that I would jump-start it by availing myself of 'Understanding Your Cosmic Code: purpose, genetic frequency and guidance', a service that my friend Simeon in Hawaii offers.

We each have specific coding that came as part of our 'human hardware' package. It has been fascinating and very helpful in better understanding why I do some of what I do and also how to be more aware of the things that often get me in trouble!

This past week, I had a huge 'lesson' in the latter . . . (unfortunately, after the fact), thus getting myself in apparent trouble!!!!!!!!

After hearing the questions asked recently of the political hopefuls in one of their many debates, this one sparked my interest: 'what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses???????????', I decided to write mine down to better understand them, as they also seemed to have a huge part in my 'Cosmic Coding'.

On my Bio page of my Studio website, I found this that I had written in 2002:

In this world, I am called to 'model' an 'artfully genuine life'
by marrying my STRENGTHS
(of humor, initiative, resourcefulness, straight-forwardness, perserverance
and ability to listen to the 'soul's echo' behind the spoken words)
with my DELIGHT in playing with colour and emotive forms . . .
the result of which have the synesthetic effect of INVENTING a mysterious,
yet responsive union between 'the space' or 'the work'
and those who enter it or view it!!!

WOWIE . . . what a lot of words!!!

Simply put: "I'm a Way of Life"!!!

(Always fun to find things we have written in yester-years!)

As I began to consider my weaknesses, I was having a difficult time pinpointing them as somehow the word 'weakness' didn't feel like the opposite of 'strength', as used in that context.

It seemed like the word should be more like what people call their shadow side, or for me, 'overzealousness' of my strengths . . . and it was exactly that overzealouseness of my organizational, forward-thinking and 'take charge' skills that set the foundation for the problems this week!

The main thing pointed out in the Cosmic Code information was that since I do have all those skills, I need to pay attention to the timing of when/how I use them . . . most especially in waiting to be 'invited' to share my wisdom or ideas or opinions . . . and then to know when to stop!

Needless to say, that one hit me right between the eyes! And I began to notice how many times I just started right in without an 'invite'! So I have been working on that. It is amazing how our habits of doing things become so common place to us that we don't even realize we are doing it!

Last night I listened to the second CD in a series by Clarissa Pinkola Estes called 'The Creative Fire'. I realized recently (after having been asked in the past weeks by a number of people what I have been up to creatively), that I couldn't come up with much of anything I had done . . . no artwork, no sewing, etc.

When Estes spoke these words, 'what is stealing your creative life from you?', I realized that my 'space' that earlier in the year I had set up specifically for sewing had become a 'massage' area. And that I never quite got around to sewing as it seemed a bother to put away the mats and sheets, etc., only to get them out again the next week . . . sooooo my sewing got put on hold and I convinced myself that I had lost the desire to sew.

As I sat with my journal after listening to those words she spoke, I wrote: "I have allowed my creativity to be 'put on hold', while setting up a creative space for the use of others!"

Well, as you can guess, I put down my journal, went into my 'studio room' and moved the massage mats, sheets, blankets, pillows to another area of the house and re-arranged things so it is my 'creative space' again . . . a place where my own creativity can once again wake up!

It felt good.

And as serendipity would have it, I also got a newsletter from my friend Gillian in Tennessee in which she wrote this:
"2008 asks: how do you spend your time, energy, money and light. Do you spend too much time and energy in worrying or waiting for a sign from the Universe? How much time and energy and money did you put into the last large item you bought for yourself (car, house, appliance, computer, etc.) and how many hours did you log (or blog) worrying about the money to get the thing? How many miles did you drive looking for the thing? How hard did you work to get the money to buy the thing?

Look at all that time, energy and life force that is now held in your new car, refrigerator, etc. and see that as a 'living light'. The item has more value since it took so much of you to manifest it. Take a moment right now and visualize yourself breathing all that time, energy and money, in the form of a living light, deep into your being, filling any voids with it, filling the empty tired spots of your energy field. Just keep breathing in and filling yourself with all the life-force you spent getting that item in the first place.

Now in your heart of hearts, ask: how do you want to spend this new light and life-force you have just filled yourself with? You can keep it and just relax into it as a big soft cushion or you can take it and shoot it toward the next star you want to wish on!"

I had never thought of it in that way. So I spent some time doing just that . . . for all the time, money and energy I had expended in the painting I had done for people in the past 5 years . . . for all the energy and life force I had expended on the problems of this past week . . . I could go on and on!

I was amazed at how my body felt afterward . . . and how I could once again begin to feel the ember of creativity beginning to glow.

Until soon,

Che'usa

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