Me Musing . . . November 22, 2006. . .

A subject that seems to be on the minds of many lately is this one:
'How does one re-invent one's Self at various times in their life'?

Perhaps the idea of beginning to sew again has had me looking in the mirror more often and I recall thinking lately that I was getting rather 'matronly' looking. Last week (before all this Paris and Orange Wheelbarrow Musing began) I decided that my hair was feeling like a
'hair-hat' and I needed something new.

From about 1979 I had worn my hair very short. I remember years ago having a boyfriend who one day said, "I think you should grow your hair long". My reply was, "I like my hair short. If you want long hair, grow it "! Needless to say, that relationship didn't last long.

When we began traveling in our little trailer a few years ago I decided that maybe it would be easier if my hair was long enough to at least wrap around a curler . . . so I tried that. It was OK, but it never really felt like me. And I had to smile one day when I went into the bank, after cutting my hair short again, and one of the tellers said, "Now you look more like Che'usa"!

This year I tried something new and had been attempting to curl it away from my face. Growing up, I loved Polly Bergen and that's how she wore her hair. A friend figured out that if the top was cut with those scary scissors that look like they are taking out huge hunks of hair at one clip, that it would curl backward easier . . . and it did.

Last week though, something changed and I felt I needed a new 'do'. So off I went to a stylist and said, "Just cut it the way it grows
and wants to go on its own". (Which of course, was . . . it wants
to go forward while I'm trying to make it go backward . . . just
like my Orange Wheelbarrow sometimes!)

The amazing thing was that when she finished it was very similar to my first short cut in 1979 just before going on my first Paris trip.
Now isn't that wild????!!! And a few days after this cut was when Paris jumped on the radar-screen again.

Paris bound ~ 1979

And speaking of Paris, I found this photo of Mother and I on my second Paris trip where 7 mother-daughter 'couples' traveled with us.

Paris ~ 1981
in Marie Antoinette's carriage

This photo was taken today in what I call my '1950's refrigerator jacket' as it seems to have all the colours in it of that vintage of refrigerators! Something about the designs remind me of fabrics from that era.

Perhaps it is easier for some of us to 're-invent' ourselves than it is for others. Looking back I would say that each time I moved or changed jobs or lifestyles, 're-invention' was a part of the process.

It can also happen as a result of the loss of a loved one . . . (no matter in what form loss presents itself). Such times seem to present the most difficult transitions, as a part of us is still in that prior time and a part of us is in the 're-invent' mode.

One of my favorite verses which I copied into one of my oversized journals is from the book 'Katherine Anne Porter, a Life' by Joan Givner. I always seem to be drawn back to it during times of 're-invention' . . .

"She doesn't wait for death to effect Transformation.
Every now and then, she stops being what she is
and becomes something else.
In some secluded corner of the world
she spins a cocoon
and presently comes out
more brilliantly coloured
with longer, swifter wings.
She leaves her old life there in a tree,
as something she has put forever behind her."

The most powerful 're-invention',
me thinks,
is when we awaken one morning
to discover
(and seemingly for no reason at all)
we have fallen
more deeply
in love with our-Self!

And to me just now, THAT is what Paris speaks of!

Until soon,

Che'usa

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